


Reality is a Harsh Mistress

by sperrywink



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, preslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-12
Updated: 2011-02-12
Packaged: 2017-10-15 14:56:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/161952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sperrywink/pseuds/sperrywink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine realizes the extent of his idiocy. Coda to Silly Love Songs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reality is a Harsh Mistress

As they sat down with their coffees and Kurt explained his idea, Blaine didn't let it show to Kurt, but his mind was still reeling from Kurt's revelation. Forget clueless, he had been blind, insensitive, and a total jerk. He nodded along and acted enthusiastic to Kurt's suggestion of a Lonely Heart's Dinner for Valentine's Day and promised to help convince The Warblers to give another performance, but in reality his mind was busy picking apart all his interactions with Kurt and Jeremiah and pointing out all the ways he had screwed up.

Kurt's psyche had been so fragile when they had met and that was the box Blaine had put Kurt in forevermore. Kurt had been alone in being out and alone in fighting his bully and that was all Blaine had seen. It was obvious to Blaine he wasn't ready for a relationship, no matter how cute he was. The thing was, that was four months ago. A lot had happened since then. Kurt was now at Dalton and finally settling into school and The Warblers, opening up in a whole slew of ways. He was happier and more forceful than Blaine had ever seen him and Blaine was beginning to realize that this was the real Kurt. The Kurt he had met initially was the façade.

It took no reflection at all to see that asking Kurt to sing that duet and chasing him around the room had been misleading, but he could also see how touchy-feely he was with Kurt in a way he wasn't with other people. At the time it had been freeing knowing Kurt was gay and he had showed more affection than he would normally show a new friend. Kurt was right to misconstrue it. It wasn’t normal behavior for Blaine and was a marked difference to how he treated his other friends.

In his efforts to help Kurt face his tormentors better than Blaine had faced his own, he had ingratiated himself into Kurt’s life far more quickly than any normal person would have. It was all so clear now how his actions would look from the outside, but the sad part was he couldn’t even tell himself that Kurt’s misplaced feelings were all Kurt’s fault. Kurt was so cute and hot that Blaine had enjoyed Kurt’s undivided attention. It made him feel confident and alive. He barely managed to control his expression when he realized he had been unconsciously using Kurt’s regard as a way to boost his own ego. He was a real piece of work. The even sadder part was that as Blaine was now looking at Kurt with fresh eyes, he was seeing how special he was and he could kick himself for being a blind fool and blowing any chance to pursue Kurt.

Kurt looked up from mass texting his friends and Blaine tried to smile as naturally as possible. He figured he was lucky if it came across as a pained grimace from the look Kurt gave him. Luckily Kurt didn’t ask, just pushed Blaine’s cup towards him and said, “Drink up. We have a lot to do before tonight.” Glad for the reprieve, Blaine drained his cup and agreed to call Wes and David to plead Kurt’s case for The Warbler’s to entertain Kurt’s friends.

As they left the coffee shop, Blaine turned his musings to Jeremiah who was his own ball of trouble. He had been attracted to Jeremiah from the first instant, but he can see now that it was one-sided and pure lust, not love. Plus, he knew now that he was flattered by an older boy being interested in him. It made him feel mature and worldly, which was enticing and that had made him fall all the more. It wasn't Jeremiah he was in love with, he didn't know Jeremiah at all, it was how adult and flirty he had felt while with Jeremiah that he was in love with.

Resisting banging his head against the wall of the mall at his own stupidity, Blaine made the phone calls and called in one of his few favors with Wes to get him to agree to The Warblers providing that night’s entertainment. Blaine knew the rest of The Warblers would follow Wes, so he was able to tell Kurt that they were on. Kurt beamed at him and Blaine smiled sickly back.

Putting his hands on his hips, Kurt asked, “All right, what’s wrong?”

Sputtering and caught off guard, all Blaine could do was deny, deny, deny. “What? Nothing!”

Kurt wasn’t letting it go. “Are you still upset about Jeremiah? Because I don’t think he’s worth the trouble. Did you see how the color of his hoodie clashed with his complexion?”

“It’s got nothing to do with Jeremiah.”

“So then it’s about me.” Kurt gave him a brave face, but Blaine could see how much it was costing him to force Blaine to admit the truth. Unfortunately he was right and wrong at the same time.

“It is you, but not the way you imagine. I’m just realizing that the Kurt in my head isn’t the real Kurt just like I imagined a whole relationship with Jeremiah that wasn’t real. I’m an idiot and I’m just overwhelmed by how much still.”

A vulnerable look flashed over Kurt’s face before his mask was firmly back in place. “Do I even want to know who the Kurt in your head was?” Kurt was trying for a dry tone, but it came off as slightly angry. Which tore Blaine up, but he couldn’t be less than truthful to Kurt. Not after Kurt was so honest and open with him.

Reaching out to touch Kurt’s arm, Blaine pulled his hand back before touching him. He didn’t know what was appropriate anymore. “Nobody bad, nothing like that. It’s more how I related to you that was all screwy. It was so easy to feel good about myself because I was helping you, which wasn’t fair to either of us. It blinded me to how much you were helping me at the same time. Like I said, I’m an idiot.”

Giving Blaine a thoughtful look, Kurt suddenly smiled warmly. “How about this. Let’s start over. Maybe we can both be better friends.” He then held out his hand and said, “Hi. I’m Kurt. I like Lady Gaga, Marc Jacobs, and the musical Rent.”

Blaine blinked a couple times and then smiled as brilliantly as he could. If all he could have with Kurt was friendship for the moment, that would be more than enough. He squeezed Kurt’s hand between both of his and replied, “Hi, I’m Blaine. I like college football, romantic comedies, and Katy Perry. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Kurt laughed freely and Blaine wanted to hug him fiercely. But that could wait. Right now he could look forward to discovering Kurt’s secrets and get to know the real him. Blaine could only hope there was the possibility of more in the future.


End file.
